Adopted and in the Dark: The Medical History Crisis No One Talks About

The secrecy and deception that adoption is rooted in have stolen more than just our origins; they have stolen our health.

Photo by Bermix Studio on Unsplash

Sitting in yet another doctor's office, I brace myself for the inevitable question. It comes at every appointment without fail and always stings in ways that words can't quite capture.

"Let's talk about your family medical history. What can you tell me about your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, etc.?"

And once again, I'm forced to give the same answer I've been providing for decades. "I'm adopted. I don't have any family medical history."

I grumble every single time I have to say those words. Not because I don't want to answer but because I can't. Because my truth—along with millions of other adoptees' truth—has been hijacked by secrecy. I didn't ask for this glitch in my life, this blank slate that medical professionals look at with concern. I didn't ask for the uncertainty that comes with not knowing if a simple cough or a strange pain is a genetic signal for something bigger. But here I am, navigating the healthcare system with a blindfold on, and it feels like I'm driving without a map.

How many of my fellow adoptees have ever felt this way?

What makes this journey even harder? It's not just about me anymore. It's about my children. When the doctors ask me about the family medical history of my kids, I'm faced with a brutal truth: I don't have answers for them either. My inability to provide this vital information now impacts my children's lives. I didn't ask for this burden, and they certainly didn't.

Why Medical History Matters

Medical history is not just a set of facts; it's a roadmap for understanding potential risks and vulnerabilities. It informs everything from routine screenings to life-saving interventions. For someone with access to their family's health records, it might be as simple as, "My dad had high blood pressure, so I need to monitor mine closely." Or, "Cancer runs in my family, so I'm getting early screenings." These are facts that guide medical decisions, save lives, and provide peace of mind.

Consider Reading: Adoption: Mislabeled, Medicated, & Diagnosed Adoptees Could Be Grieving Profoundly.

For adoptees, that peace of mind doesn't exist.

We're left with excessive medical testing, trial and error, and gruesome experiences that are avoidable for others. When you're adopted, every unknown ache or illness becomes a game of "Could it be genetic?" We are constantly subjected to a carousel of tests, hoping one might give us answers that our family history should have already provided.

But that roadmap, for us, is blank.

The Inhumane Treatment of Adoptees: Medical Truths Hijacked

The secrecy and deception that adoption is rooted in have stolen more than just our origins; they have stolen our health. Many people, including adoptive parents, may not fully understand the toll this takes on us—mentally, emotionally, and physically. For adoptive parents reading this, I ask you to consider what it would feel like to live without knowledge of your own family's medical history. What if every doctor's appointment felt like stepping into a black hole of uncertainty?

Would you want that for yourself? For your children?

This part of adoption isn't talked about enough and needs to be. For prospective adoptive parents, this is a crucial point to consider. Adoptees are often treated like second-class citizens, denied access to fundamental human rights like the knowledge of our own medical and mental health histories. When you choose adoption, are you prepared for what that means for your child's health? Because make no mistake—when we don't have access to our history, it impacts not only us but also our children and their children.

A Hard Pill to Swallow as a Parent

I know firsthand how my lack of medical history has affected my children. The hard pill to swallow is that this impact will ripple through generations. My children deserve to know their health risks, just as I do. But they can't because my truth—their truth—was stolen from us in the secrecy of adoption. No parent wants to see their child suffer, and yet, I am left with no choice but to watch my children navigate the same uncertainty that I do, simply because I was adopted.

A Call for Change: Adoptees Deserve the Right to Know

I believe more conversations need to happen about this topic. If adoptions continue to happen, at the very least, adoptees deserve the right to periodic updates on their biological family's medical history. Every 10 years, there should be a "check-in" with our biological parents to gather health updates. As our birth parents age, health issues will surface that we need to know about. This is not a luxury; it is a fundamental human right. It's a right that could save lives—our lives and the lives of our children and their children.

I know far too many adoptees who have died, never having access to their medical history. This is not just about physical health—it's about mental health, too. We need to know the histories of our biological families to understand the complete picture of who we are and what we might face.

Denying us this is inhumane.

Empathy and Action: It's Time for Change

To those reading this who aren't adopted, I urge you to pause and put yourself in our shoes. Imagine going through life not knowing the most basic things about your health or your family's health. Imagine the endless questioning, the unnecessary tests, the worry that lingers in every doctor's visit. Now imagine that you could do something to change that for someone else.

Consider Reading: Adoption: The Infinite Elephant in the Room

Adoptees deserve better. We deserve the truth. We deserve answers. We deserve the right to our family's medical history, just like everyone else. Anything less is cruel and unfair, and it needs to change.

I'm tired of grumbling through my appointments. I'm tired of being treated like I don't deserve to know where I come from. This is a call to everyone—adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents, doctors, lawmakers, and anyone who cares about human rights. This is a fundamental, undeniable truth: knowing your medical history is a human right, and adoptees are being robbed of it.

Consider Reading: Being Adopted, When Your Truth Is Held Hostage.

I personally believe the entire system of adoption needs to be abolished, but for now, because it does exist, it's time to open our eyes and change how we think about adoption. At the very least, the adoption machine needs massive reform for the sake of our health and for the sake of our children's health. And it starts with acknowledging that every adoptee deserves their truth and medical history—no exceptions.

Let's grieve, grow, and glo together and fight for the fundamental human rights we've been denied for far too long.

www.adopteeremembranceday.com

I encourage all my readers to get involved in Adoptee Remembrance Day - October 30th (ARD), a day dedicated to honoring the lives of adoptees and raising awareness of the challenges many of us face. ARD shines a light on adoptees who have been deported, stolen, or abused, as well as those who were tragically murdered or tortured in their adoptive homes. It also serves as a day to recognize the profound loss every adoptee experiences before they are adopted—the loss of our families, our histories, and our identities. It illuminates the reality that adoptees are over-represented in the Troubled Teen Industry (TTI), prisons, jails, mental health, and treatment facilities and that adoptees are at a much greater risk of attempting suicide. ARD is a powerful opportunity for adoptees and allies alike to come together, share stories, and advocate for change.

Consider Reading: Adoptee Remembrance Day - Oct 30th: The Fight for Truth, Justice, and Healing in Adoption.

You can get involved by spreading the word on social media, attending and creating local or virtual events, and supporting organizations that fight for adoptee rights. You do not have to be adopted to participate! This is a collective collaboration for the entire adoption constellation and anyone who knows or loves an adoptee, teachers, lawyers, doctors, nurses, mental health professionals, therapists, and more.

Together, we can make a difference and ensure adoptees’ voices are heard. Let’s honor the lives lost and fight for a better future. Learn more at www.adopteeremembranceday.com.

Let’s Talk! Your Turn!

After reading my latest article about the struggles adoptees face without access to medical history, I’d love to hear your thoughts. For my fellow adoptees, how has not having your family’s medical history impacted your health journey? Have you faced any challenges or had to undergo extra testing because of the unknowns? For adoptive parents, has your child ever experienced difficulty because of missing medical history? How did you handle those situations?

And with Adoptee Remembrance Day - October 30th (ARD) coming up, I’m curious—how are you planning to participate? Are you attending or hosting any events, sharing on social media, or creating awareness in your community? What does ARD mean to you personally? Feel free to drop your thoughts, ideas, and experiences in the comments!

I see you; I feel your pain for all the adoptees who feel forgotten, lost, and alone. Please don’t give up, and know you aren’t alone in feeling like you do.

Photo by Bekky Bekks on Unsplash

I have compiled a list of recommended resources for adoptees and advocates. It can be found here: Recommended Resources for Adult Adoptees and Adoption Advocates.

Thank you for reading and for supporting me and my work.

Understanding is Love, 

Pamela A. Karanova

Here are a few articles that highlight the intersection of adoption, grief and loss I recommend reading:

The Essential Role of The Grief Recovery Method in The Adoption Constellation.

Still, Grieving Adoptee Losses, What My Adoptive Parents Could Have Done Differently. 

Acknowledging Immeasurable Adoptee Grief, The Real Mother.

When Adoptees Know Loss Before We Know Love.

Bewildering Adoptee Grief on Infinite Repeat.

I’m Adopted, Help Me!

30 Things To Consider Before Adopting From An Adult Adoptee Perspective.

Adoptee Holiday Grief, The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

Adoption Hasn’t Touched Me. It’s Ruthlessly Kicked My Ass.

Adoption: Mislabeled, Medicated, & Diagnosed Adoptees Could Be Grieving Profoundly.

Adoption: Deconstructing Harmful Myths We've Learned About Adoptee Grief.

Grief From Adoption? Most People Think Of Death and Dying When They Think of Grief.

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